writing , healing , adulting !

 why am I holding onto people so much who hurted me ? Why I feel sad when I see them ? Even when they don't even care .  It's like I am walking on a highway with vehicles and no one is bothering to even look at me .  why I get hurt everytime I see them ? was any of it my fault ? Did I deserve that ?  No , ofcourse not I know I don't deserve this but why ? why should I tolerate all this ? Was I born to bring trouble and to be in trouble ?  I think I need a genie in my life , who answers all questions that comes in my mind. Must I wait & look for answers i myself created ?  Or should I just go with the flow and let things pass and wait to get things better at some point of my life . Do I have that much energy left in me ?  What if I suddenly fall and die on that highway ?  Or What if decide to come in front of any vehicle ? I will be dead . Will they notice me then ? Will they care about me then ? Will they remember me forever and ca...

 isn't it humour that we work or study everyday so badly just to live life of comfort.  we work very hard to the very end of day to live , don't people get tired of it ? don't people get bored of this ? don't people give up?  it's reality!!! we just say it like it is what it is . didn't we people made this ? didn't we created this competition? everyday there is a war either it's between country or state or with people! everyone wants to be on top . Everyone wants to do better than their own mates. what is life ? is this life ? why this is life ?  can't we see what nature gave us and what we made nature !? it's horrible to think , it's totally horrible that we are living life for no reason at all . They live for their loved ones but that also is an lie because they also don't know why literally they are living , if they can't even be happy with their loved ones ! © mikzzsighs 

 I want to live in fantasy for once , i know it's not possible but i want to . I want to experience things that are just not real in this life .  I want to live in another place where no one knows me where there is peace and happiness, i want to live in my fantasy , i want to live in my dreams . I want to do whatever I wish for in my life , i want to have an easy life which is far beyond the reality.  I lost it ! I lost the faith of being alive in this real world . I want to live in another world full of things of my imaginations . Where there is lots of love and care , where there is garden full of flowers and trees with a sweet house in between the garden with a bench in yard . so that I sit there and watch the sky , when it rains i would sit there for hours and talk with myself as rain drops, when there is night full of stars and moon i would sit there and stare at sky as that is the most beautiful thing .  I want to live a life without people without ...