writing , healing , adulting !

Sometimes I sit ,  With in company of myself, In my room , Lost in me ,... I always think , The messy things..., That happened, Struggles that I did... Inspire me every day , every night  And every second....,,, I just question youh that , This is called self-love ??? But not selfish ... !!! Every moment I think and Inspire me...,, I am in now love with someone that ... That I know very well.. Ya 'em , that's my soul ,, I searched for any other  But can't found anyother  Face except my ..!! But I found every where me... So I decided to live with my thoughts , my suggestions , my likes ,my dislikes and yeah 'the myself.... Every moment..!!!!!!

Can u think BEiNG A GiRL is easy ??  no , being a girl is not easy !!!!.... A newly borned girl in middle class family , she was was treated equally in her family ; she was given same clothes , same food as boy and all those things...And was also loved equally .  At the age of 8 , she was said by her mother that don't go outside alone at night ! It's not safe ..u r a girl be aware of yourself !! ...  She was now 14 years old , her mother started interrupting her in all works and always say ' learn this , it is usefull in future ; do this now u have to go to other's home one day !!...like these taunts... At age of 16 , now that girl became little matured and she just started reacting all taunts .  At age 26 , that girl got a job and her parents searched a boy for her marriage and after some time she became married . Now , his husband keep her in his home with all his priority . She became totally dependent on his partner . She then became a mother and afte...

It was rainy all day , I was in my village and it rained so heavily that water was collected every where . In evening , I sat on my chair and started enjoying the nature then my attention went to the childrens playing .  Ofcourse , they were enjoying , playing in water sailing with their boats . I just smiled , then I opened my gallery in my phone and started scrolling my old photos . I laughed and sometimes get sad ; yeah ! . Literally , I felt very sad that time I just reminded that silly things that we just did that time . We made school in a vacant fields , we went to picnic in the little field full of unwanted plants . We just played that games that now we speak as worst . And the best part is that every boy and girl played together that time , like football after a little rain , cricket , or pickichain  - it was our favourite game that time ; also kabaddi . Can u imagine , our level of happiness? Every evening we played outside with our friends , and when we ...

As always , I was weak in maths and English , In eighth standard I was very weak in these subjects, then in ninth standard , I met our English teacher . He was very kind,calm and cool minded, he was also our class teacher also. In our school , there was regular morning assembly with thoughts , word of the day , news headlines and different speeches or poetry. My english teacher came one day and told us that if anyone want to speak a speech in morning assembly he/she can contact me, I don't know what I thought , I just said , ' me ! Sir' . Whole class looked me , I thought what will happen now ; my english teacher just smiled and praised me for my efforts. Next day , I prepared for the same, and went to my sir , he told me that assembly will start now and u will be called when ur turn will come. I was so much furious that I forgot my speech, my turn came , and I just started ignoring all my distractions, but unfortunately I forgot my speech in middle , then I rec...

This is about the year 2017 , I was in 8-th standard . I was having no friends that time , I was just alone and alone . On my birthday I got many gifts , but one gift was a diary.  I gotta confused that what I will do with this. I kept it a side. Then one day , I was thinking about my fake friends and their fake friendship . I just get into a deep thought and started crying. Then my attention went to that diary .  I just wiped my tears , took that diary and started writing things to it . I was so much feeling relieved that thought to write more. Every night I wrote about my life and my feelings . I was so much feeling relieved after writing . One day, I was in my school and forgot to keep my diary in my school bag , and it was now in my coaching bag . By my default, my father and brother checked my bag for checking my notebook . When I came from school I looked that my whole room was filled with my teared diary pages thrown in my room like garbage, I was so much hu...